Reflections
by TryDefyingGravity
Summary: When you look in the mirror, which side of you do you see? -Elphaba angst, I suppose-


Disclaimer: I'm not that girl

Summary: When you look in the mirror, which side of you do you see? (Elphaba angst, I suppose)

Reflections

_I am the girl with green skin._

I am the girl who was born green for a reason that no doctor could discern. My father hated me because I was different. I think my mother loved me, but the memories I have of her are so few, I don't know if that is true. My sister loved me. She was the only person in my family to see through my green skin and not care about it. I was Fabala, her big sister: the one who cared for her.

_I am the girl who does magic._

Shiz University was a new start for me. I could make a new beginning, make new friends and pull myself away from my father's neglect. I met a girl, Galinda, who was to become my best friend, although we didn't know that at the time. And I met a boy, Fiyero, who was to become my lover, although we certainly didn't know that either. My sister met Boq, a munchkin who declared his love for Galinda, only to be brushed aside each time he tried to show his affections.

My entrance to my new start was dramatic, to say the least. I pulled my sister in her wheelchair back to my hands without even touching it. I attracted the attention of the headmistress, who told me she would tutor me privately in sorcery and the hatred of Galinda who had applied to the sorcery seminar when she came to the university. She now wouldn't get what she wanted, because of me.

_I am the girl who defies gravity._

Gradually, Galinda and I became friends. This was because she had done a good deed for my sister, and I did one for her in return. She came with me to see the Wizard. She saw what I had to do to get myself to the Emerald City. She saw what I had to do to make the Wizard accept me. I asked her to come with me.

She said no.

_I am the girl who flies solo._

In my years away from my Shiz friends, in isolation, I helped the Animals who had been persecuted by the Wizard. All of them were grateful to me. Many of them sought friendships with me, but I refused. After Glinda had stayed with the Wizard, I couldn't face another friendship where I would be let down, where I would be betrayed. Every time an Animal came to offer to be a companion to me, I turned them down. I told them it was because they wouldn't be safe. In reality, it was because I wanted no company. I needed no one.

_I am the girl who is wanted by a Prince._

When I returned to the Emerald City after 'helping' my sister, I found Fiyero again. He was engaged to Glinda, but he chose the outlaw over safety. We ran from the palace that night, hands joined. I felt whole for the first time. We spent the night together, exploring each other, seeking solace in the other's body. I was loved, I was happy, I was safe that night.

_I am the girl who caused the death of her loved ones._

Because of me, Fiyero was murdered. He died because I was too stupid to leave my sister and run away with him without looking back. Maybe I wanted to mourn her properly. Maybe I wanted to see Glinda one last time. But whatever it was, the Gale Force returned to the spot of my sister's death and captured me in the midst of a fight with Glinda. Looking back, they probably arrived at a good time, considering how angry I was.

Fiyero came to rescue me. Stupid of him, yes. Wonderful of him, yes. He proved to me that he truly was brainless, but I was touched, even though I knew he wouldn't see me again. Someone loved _me _enough to risk his life for me.

_I am the girl who tries but fails._

I watched him be carried off by the Gale Force. I attempted a spell to save him from harm. I tried, I tried, I tried. But I failed to save him. He didn't fly away suddenly, he didn't appear before me.

I tried, I tried, I tried. Yet I failed again.

_I am the girl who everyone hates._

There are hunters coming for me. I try the spell again. Fiyero, I have to save you. You must come to me, you must stay with me forever. You must.

I'm coming to join you now, Fiyero. I'm coming to you, my love, my only. We shall never be parted again, my sweet. We shall never cease to be together now. Because we are one, you and I, and I am coming to join you, my Yero.

_I am the Witch who will die alone._


End file.
